I want burning

Sometimes I want to sink into the hot molten core of my aloneness

and disappear into that burning.

From deviantART

...That broken-open lowliness is the Reality, not the language. 

Forget phraseology. I want burning, burning.

Be Friends
with your burning, burn up your thinking and your forms of expression...

When you eventually see through the veils to
how things really are, you will keep saying
again and again, "This is certainly not like
we thought it was!"

- Rumi, "Moses and the Shepherd" 

 Frida Kahlo, The two Fridas, 1939

what do you do
when what you want
and what you say you want
are two different things?

**

i am calling forth my whole heart. no part left out, no space reserved or hidden. nothing sealed off to the past or the present. i am letting the fear bleed out, and singing myself whole.

The joy of death

 From http://elenakalis.carbonmade.com/projects/2170790#6

That Quick

A lover looks at creekwater and wants to be
that quick to fall, to kneel, then all
the way down in full prostration.

A lover wants to die of his love
like a man with dropsy
who knows that water will kill him,
but he can't deny his thirst.

A lover loves death. Spill your jug
in the river! Your shame and fear
are like layers covering coldness.

Throw them off, and rush naked
into the joy of death.  

- Rumi

The fiction is that there is someone here writing, a breath I can control, a mind feeding me words. The truth is that I drowned two days ago, so thirsty for You that I sought the riptide and went under, spiraling to my death in an ecstatic underwater ballet that I'd spent my life rehearsing. I was clinging to You while letting go of You, my life raft and my anchor, upside-down with longing as my body emptied of resistance, undulated with the waves, and went limp.

I had been begging for You to kill me. Orchestrating my own annihilation. I handed You the instruments, the weapons, the arsenal - pleading in code for my demise. Please relieve me of me. Release my spirit. Be my undoing.

I have now only the lightest veil of innocence to cover me. I carry this sheath only to house Your desire. There are footprints scattered in every direction, and they all lead back to You. And You are at the cliff, the waterfront, the opening, the void. If this is a trick, then I am tricked. If there is ground, then I will crash. But if there isn't...if I am tossed and turned in the waves, filled and emptied and filled again, if I am lifted and lowered with the rise and fall of Your breath which breathes me, so that I may never misbelieve again in my own illusion...

I am the ooh and the ahhh of freedom.