Saturday, January 23, 2010

Ever have the feeling...

you miss someone and you're not sure who it is?

It could be John Lennon. Or Leonard Cohen. My childhood. My childhood dog. Amelia Earhart or Annie Oakley. Princess Diana. The illusion of symmetry. A feeling I had late at night on a Thursday with a past boyfriend who told me that I looked like an angel in that light. It could be my sister's grilled cheese sandwiches. Or my high school neighbor who drove his car off a cliff. Or my mother, long ago and far away. It's a feeling like an exquisite emptiness--what drives me to write. It's the feeling that comes once the umbilical cord gets snipped. The feeling after Savannah the cocker spaniel knocks me into the pool, after the roller coaster ends, after the ex-lover drives away, after the drug wears off--:

I wanted safety, sanity, in the midst of the madness...but now that it's over, I want my fix again.


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